˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 ꒱ 6 stars!! “And now there's you. This whole time, it's been you, and I didn't even realize.” : ̗̀➛ first and foremost - thank you so much eveonne for buddy reading this with me!!! it was such a fun experience and your commentary was the best! 💕 : ̗̀➛ i have amazing news for yall!! you will never hear me shut up about this book. literally one of my favorites of all time, new roman empire ☺️!!! i could talk about this all day if i wanted to. make this review a 5 page essay—if i had the time. that’s how much i love this book. “‘So. Tell me. Why is it always me?’ : ̗̀➛ also there’s a TON of quotes so you guys can be fully convinced to read this book. ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 ꒱ plot - sadie wen is a person you’d call a people pleaser. she always shows everyone her happy side, but when someone really angers her, she resorts to writing rage filled email drafts that she’ll never send out, of course. until one day, they get sent — all 57 of them. to teachers, peers, and others, but the majority of them are addressed to her rival, julius. since the day they both joined their highly competitive school as children, they’ve always been against each other, but when sadie’s emails garner the notice of their school’s principal, he decides to force sadie and julius to work together for a month. here begins our story.. 🤭 “Maybe, by this stage, we've both been hardwired to hate each other. Maybe it's a fundamental part of our internal coding, and there's no way to reprogram it without self-destructing, setting everything on fire. Maybe it's for the best this way.” ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🏵️ ꒱ sadie wen - when i tell you i love this girl — i love sadie. she’s such a realistic and vivid character. she is a people pleaser, a literal academic weapon, and so so kind. she’s the captain of her school, cocaptaining with julius (dont worry, we will get to him later 😉). she’s athletic and plays sports and is very, very good at track “I like to consider myself a smart person. I take great pride in knowing things, like whether a graph is wonky, or when an answer is accurate, or which essay topic is going to work best.” : ̗̀➛ i loveeee sadie. also her character growth over the course of the book is amazing!!! i love watching her grow out of her extreme people pleasing tendencies and show her real personality ☺️. "’I really can't stand it when people are angry at me. Like, I know it might be simple for others, but I can’t focus on anything else, I can’t just forget about it and go on with my own life. lt's like there's something hard wedged inside my chest. I'll always feel guilty, I'll always want to make amends.’”
‘Because,’ he says quietly, ‘You're the only person worth paying attention to.’” not bc i just loved the quotes sm.. no, no.me and sadie twinninggg!! look, look, look! this is a quote that very accurately explains both me and sadie :)
: ̗̀➛ what im going to write next is one out of my only two complaints about this book!! i think sadie was portrayed as a bit too nerdy.. like the scary story scene 😭. i don’t think anyone’s actually like that irl, as i, myself, am a nerd and have tons of nerd friends 😭😭.
˗ˏˋ꒰ 💘 ꒱ julius - MY MAN. IM IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY. HES ATHLETIC, CRAZY SMART, AND UGH JUST PERFECT. 🤭🤭 marry me. julius please marry me. he’s funny and sarcastic and sweet and he actually cares so so much although he pretends not to.
“‘Screw the others,’ he says fiercely. The heat in his voice shocks me. Burns me to the core. ‘I don't care about them. I only care about—’”
: ̗̀➛ he had super high standards set for him bc of his older brother, who went to harvard and was a bestselling author.. ugh i loathed his brother. i felt so bad for him bc his family(mainly his brother) seemed so tough on him🙁. his brother was so mean to him!!! 😠
: ̗̀➛ ok deviating from that topic, he made SO MANY SWOON-WORTHY QUOTES 🤭🤭.
“‘You have to understand… If you knew the effect you had on me, how often I think about you, the things I would do for you... I wouldn't stand a chance against you ever again.’” AHHH 🤭 more to come later in review 😉
˗ˏˋ�� 💞 ꒱ sadiejulius - 🥰. i will never ever ever stop loving them. academic rivals to lovers has alwaysss been my favorite romance trope and they did it perfectly ☺️☺️. from the very beginning of their time spent together, it was perfect. the tension and the cute little moments had me giggling and kicking my feet!!!
“I can't prevent myself from drinking in the sight of him. From hating him and wanting him all at the same time, one point of tension bleeding into the other until it's impossible to separate the two.”
“‘I better go home,’ I say.
His expression flickers. ‘So soon?’”
: ̗̀➛ i just realized i have wayyy too many quotes for this review 😭. anywwayssss.. omg the part where sadie was in denial… girl don’t lie to yourself!!!! julius is literally the best man ever 🤭.
“I can't stop thinking about him.
It's mortifying. Unproductive. Unnatural. And quite frankly, it's really enraging. He has no right to occupy this much space inside my head.”
: ̗̀➛ my second complaint about this book: the endinggggg 😔. yes, it was cute, but i was expecting more!!! it felt so unsatisfying.. i really wish we could’ve ended on a moment with the two of them together 🙁. i still liked it tho!!!!! 🤭
“I'm not so familiar with vices —I like to think I have none, but if anything were to count, you would be my only one.”
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🏮 ꒱ random other notes -
: ̗̀➛ 🙁🙁 i wish julius was a real person. my age. my school. please come into existence for me 🙏. i promise ill love you forever 🤭.
“‘You made it clear—so terribly clear—how much you hate me. That I'm the last person in the world you would ever consider. But I kept looking for signs that would suggest otherwise. I kept wondering if it was still possible. Because I'm willing to lose everything,’ he says, his eyes blacker than the surrounding darkness, than the sky outside, ‘so long as I don't lose you.’”
: ̗̀➛ THE SCHOOL TRIP WAS THE CUTEST. ☺️ I LOVED IT (and not just for the romance)!!!!
: ̗̀➛ i love love love love loveddd the way ann liang described running during the race scene. i feel like it was so realistic and relatable!!! like how did you capture how i feel during running (i do track short distance) so well??? like excuse me ms. liang??
“I have to catch up to him now.
I force my feet onward, relishing the hard push of the ground beneath me, the blood burning inside me, my hair flying back in the wind. Colors blur past my vision. Noise rushes down to me in waves. I'm running so fast I feel weightless. I feel like I'm falling, my body moving ahead of me. There's no gravity, no friction, nothing except the frantic beat of my heart and the person in my vision.”
: ̗̀➛ THE PARTY AHH. SO MANY CUTE MOMENTS!!! AND AFTER TOOOOO 🤭🤭
“‘Do they.. really look bad? My clothes, I mean.’
I'm dumbfounded—as much by the question as the fact that he's asking me. ‘You look how you always look, Julius,’ I manage.
His eyes are wary. ‘And how is that?’
‘Completely pretentious,’ I say. ‘In a nice way though.’”
“This is something else I know I'll always remember, no matter how hard I try to scrub it from my memory, to pretend otherwise.
That I had kissed Julius Gong.
That I'd kissed him, and wanted it.”
: ̗̀➛ HELLPPPP this review is so long, ive said sm and i still haven’t done all the quotes ive found 😭. ig this book was just TOO quotable!!! 😛
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍯 ꒱ quotes -
“I was lying to myself before. Julius isn't just a boy.
He's my enemy. My equal. My point of comparison. He's the one I'm constantly trying to outrun, to outsmart, to impress. He’s the ever-moving target in my peripheral vision, the person I’ve mapped all my plans around, the start and finish line and everything in between. All my dreams and nightmares are about him and only him.”
“‘I have all your emails memorized word for word,’ he says.
‘Well, Julius Gong. It sounds like you're the one obsessed with me.’”
“‘How can you even tell the difference between liking and loathing someone? Physically speaking. How do you know if your blood pressure is rising because of how annoying they are, or how attractive you find them? If your hands are shaking because you're holding back from strangling them, or kissing them?’
‘Holy sh*t.’
‘What?’
‘It’s Julius, isn't it?’ Abigail says. ‘You're talking about Julius Gong.’”
“I also remember the softness of his blazer around my shoulders. The look on his face tonight, the quick violence in his voice when his brother spoke of me. His breathing, quiet beside me, as he swept confetti from the floor after the party. His hands, firm but warm around my wrists after the race. The shine of the medal, the light in his eyes, the curve of his lips. So beautiful and infuriating and confusing. So ready to split me open with a single word, stitch me up again with a fleeting touch.”
“‘It's revolting how much I care about him. Even now. I shouldn't want this. I shouldn't want him.’
‘It's like I've been poisoned,’ I go on, my palms itching. ‘It's like a sickness, and somehow, the cause and cure of it is him. I hate it so much, but I can't even control my own brain—’”
“‘You know? So you were the one who sent Julius to punch me?’”
“Let me establish for now and forever that you will never be second. You will never be inadequate. You will never be anything but good.”
: ̗̀➛ one last thing to convince you to go buy this book right this second: immediately after i finished it, i reread it. it was that amazing!!!!
“You were right, Sadie Wen. I am completely, helplessly obsessed with you.”
playlist made by eveonne and i ✧.*
fine line — harry styles
bored — laufey
john wayne — cigarettes after s*x
poster boy — lyn lapid
what her smile would sound like — matsuii
from the start — laufey
out of my league — fitz and the tantrums
linger — the cranberries
i only have eyes for you — the flamingos
sparks — coldplay
i hate it here — taylor swift
lovesick — laufey
falling in love — cigarettes after s*x
making the bed — olivia rodrigo
“For ten years I thought I was preparing to destroy you, when really I was preparing to love you.”
˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 ꒱ pre-read
: ̗̀➛ ahhh my first br!!! thank you so much to the sweetest girl eveonne, im so excited to read this with u 🤭
